I feel like a failure. In all aspects of my life ... I feel like a failure. I do know this will pass. I really do ... but gosh darn it, it's so hard to get past right now.
Obviously, I haven't been blogging. This may be because I have nothing to blog about, aside from complaining, which I really don't like to do. I'm good at it, I have to admit, but I can't stand when others do it ... so I try not to do it either. Keyword ... TRY! However, I feel like a failure at blogging, because I can't find anything interesting to blog about.
My kids are shits. The past couple of days, I've felt as though I'm raising the most disrespectful brats on the face of the earth. Therefore, making me a failure as a parent. Yes, my emotions are all over the place, which intensifies me feeling this way ... but seriously ... something has to change around here. I find myself yelling all the time (which I don't like to do) and not wanting to spend the quality time with my kids I know they desire and need (I DO spend the time ... though I'm not wanting to, therefore, it's probably not quality).
Housework, yeah what's that? My carpet hasn't been vacuumed in 4 days (usually done daily) and the floors haven't been mopped for a week. That may not seem like a long time to some people, but when there are fours kids in a house ... it needs to be mopped a heck of a lot more than once a week. My bathrooms are clean, I'll give myself that. And, all the laundry is done and folded ... but, it was all on my bed and I was too lazy to put it all away last night ... so it all sits folded in baskets right now. One family member asked this morning, "Shouldn't these be in drawers?" as they searched through baskets for their socks. FAILURE at keeping up with easy household chores. Really, how hard can it be? I just can't seem to keep up the past few weeks.
I'm gaining weight and don't like it. There is no reason for it, except for laziness and the fact I'm getting older ... but I'm just not inclined to do anything about it. Now that the weather is warmer, I found I couldn't fit into any of my shorts. I went to the store to purchase some new ones and needed a size larger than any of the shorts I brought into the dressing room. I can't really say I feel like a failure ... but I'm pretty disappointed in myself that I've let this happen ... and I do vow to lose these extra few pounds ... so that I don't feel like a failure.
Work. I struggle to complete my work at Craft Show Connection and IowaMoms.com. These two places could be beyond awesome, if I could just dedicate myself to doing what needs to be done. I work on them daily ... but can't get them completely off the ground and where I want them to be. I'm talking more IowaMoms.com on this ... as Craft Show Connection is pretty much established ... could just use some updates and a lot more attention. I just can't manage to do it. FAILURE.
My Beaded Socks. This is the one area I love. I absolutely LOVE making these socks. I think they are the cutest things on little girls. But I'm obviously the only one who feels this way, because I just can't manage to spread the word ... and share them with all the sweet little girls out there. Can you say ... Failure????
I'm just venting a bit. This is not a post to have everyone to feel sorry for me and give me compliments ... it's really not. I just thought if I posted how I was feeling and took some responsibility for it ... I could pull myself up out of the rut I've found myself in and make some changes ...
Hopefully soon ... I'll be telling you all how great I feel about myself and the things I'm accomplishing.
Now ... off to organize my strategy for making my escape from the feelings of failure ...
