An Iowa Mom

I Blog ... Do You?

My friend and fellow blogger, Jody, is hosting the first ever "I Blog Conference".  Is that not an amazing idea?  A conference for us bloggers in the midwest.  Truly awesome!

The I_Blog conference will be held at the Hotel Pattee in Perry, Iowa November 14-15, 2009.  Speakers include Melanie from Blogging Basics 101, Darcy from Graphically Designing and BJ Weber from Ankeny Tax and Accounting.  They are planning plenty of fun as well and hope to bring together a community of amazing Iowa- and Midwest- bloggers.

Rooms must be booked by calling the Hotel Pattee 515-465-3511.  Be sure to mention that you are with I_Blog, iatraveler's group.  Double rooms are available for $99.  (Need a roommate?  Watch the website (www.iblogconference.com) for a forum to help find one.)  Special rates are available for single king rooms and suites, too.

Space is limited so register soon!

Are you going?  You should.  And be sure to let others know about it too!

Throwback - No. 1

Do you remember this summer when I never blogged?  Well, I did actually blog, because I specifically recall logging into this little platform thingy and writing that I was sorry I haven't blogged, I realize I'm a loser, and I was BACK.  Really, really back.  And then I wouldn't log in again for weeks.  I lied.  I admit it ... but, technically I DID blog this summer ... just sayin'.

Anyway, just because I didn't blog, doesn't mean that I didn't have things I could have blogged.  And I did keep track of some of those things.  See - I'm not as big a loser as you thought I was, huh?

One of the things I want to share with you, that you probably don't give a flyin' fart about, but this is my blog and I like to record some big things that happen in our lives, so we will always remember them ... and this is one of those things.

Jake, you know that kid of mine who is eleven years old now ... and I just can't believe that ... played baseball again last spring/summer.  He had a lot of fun and totally enjoyed himself last year.  The team was awesome and played so well together ... which is why they ended up in the STATE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME at the state tournament.

Yup, they did.

And while they lost that final game, just getting to that point is such an accomplishment for these boys who practice and try so hard.  I mean, 2nd place in the STATE is nothing to squawk at.  Ya know what I'm sayin'?

So, even though I'm four or five months late in saying it ... CONGRATULATIONS to Jake and the rest of the CR Hawks Black 11U Baseball Team for this memory that I'm sure you will always carry with you.  YOU GUYS ROCK!

As a family, we truly enjoyed attending all the games and Jake, we are so proud of your accomplishment!

It's The Little Things ...

Guess what I'm doing today?

Nothing.

That's right.  Nothing.  Nada.  Zero.  Zilch. 

I'm not driving anyone to school.

I'm not even getting out of my pajamas.

I'm not cleaning up the mess of toys in the living room.

I'm not going shopping.

I'm not answering the phone.

I'm not making more than a sandwich for lunch.

I may just not make more than a sandwich for dinner.

I'm not going to worry about anything.

I'm going to do what I want.  Watch what I want.  Read what I want.  Play what I want.

It's days like today that make life worth living.  Isn't it?

A Typical Monday

Monday was a "Teacher Inservice Day".  I don't know if you all have these in your district or not ... but we have a ton of them.  I know, I know ... they are important.  The teacher needs these days to prepare.  To learn.  To be the best they can be while teaching our kiddos.  But I think they are crap.  Probably because they always fall on Monday.  If they were on Wednesdays, I think I'd have a completely different opinion.  Just sayin'

Anyway, this is not about school.  Or teacher inservice days.  Or Wednesdays.  It's about Mondays.  Particularly this past Monday.

The day started just as any other day would ... only I was being jolted awake at 6:30am for NO REASON ... since the children didn't have school.  Apparently, my kids feel that school or no school, I should be up preparing their nutritious breakfast before the freakin' sun gets up.  Note to self:  Stock up on PopTarts.

I won't give you the details of the day, since it was a typical day and I can sum it up in one sentence.  My kids misbehaved, didn't listen to a word I said, drove me freakin' crazy and then I lost my mind.  Again.

There.

Fast forward to late afternoon.  I was preparing to get Emily ready for her soccer game, waiting for Big Daddy to come retrieve her.  Negotiations between her and I took place earlier that afternoon awarding me a "pass to opt out" of attending her event.  While I would have liked nothing else but to see 16 kindergartners running around in the rain and mud for an hour, I really needed to spend some time with my sewing machine since I was participating in the local "Fall Fest" craft show this weekend.  Keyword:  WAS.

So, there I was.  Organized.  Extra time before Big Daddy was to arrive.  I cracked open a beer to celebrate my accomplishment.  Tipped it up to my lips and took a nice, big, long swig ... and then the phone rang.

It seems as though Jake was playing football up the street with some friends and was now bleeding from his head.  Yup.  My neighbor informed me of this ... because they called HER rather than me.  Ya see, here in our neighborhood, we prefer to have the mothers of the non-injured kids run through the rain to tend to the injured children.  I mean, HELLO, the parent of the bleeding child was enjoying her celebratory beverage, she couldn't be bothered. 

I'm kidding.

Kinda.

The girls and I jumped in the car and headed five houses up the street ... where I found Jake laying on the stairs in the foyer, ON THEIR BRAND NEW CARPET, with a towel to his forehead.  Covered in blood.

Needless to say, I had to place a call to my sewing machine to reschedule our date ... because I would be sitting in the Urgent Care for the next 3 hours ... with beer on my breath ... while Jake got sewn up.   So technically there was sewing involved ... it just wasn't fabric.

To think we were nervous that Drew would get hurt playing football ... NA!  It was Jake.  And as it turns out, the gash in his head wasn't caused by playing the greatest game on earth.  Nope.  They were playing some version of hide and seek and he was hiding in front of a door.  Well, what do you know ... when you hide in front of a door and someone opens it ... you'll cut your head open.

Don't say I never taught you anything.  This blog is very educational. 

And yes, that is my sixth grade boy ... with a clippie in his hair ... and I posted it.  Because I'm mean like that.  Hey ... at least it matches his shirt.

Sorry for the long post.

I guess I could have just said, "Monday afternoon Jake had an accident and cut his head.  He needed 5 stitches."

Yeah, that would have probably been a lot easier.

Rough, Tough, Mean Drew!

Drew is able to play tackle football this year.  Remember? 

This is something Jake has always wanted to do this, but never weighed enough.  The poor kid is in 6th grade, almost twelve years old and only weighs 55 pounds.  But, he can watch his brother play, which I'm sure is humiliating  so much fun!

Anyway, this is about Drew ... not Jake ...

The 4th grade Prairie Hawks Black football team has practiced every single weeknight for the past 3 weeks and have played two games.  Won them both ... barely ... but a win is a win, right?

So, because I wanted to record this time in Drew's life, his first year playing tackle football, I pulled him out in the driveway and pointed my camera at him:

Of course this picture is insufficient, every mother wants pictures of her kid smiling ... so while the neighbors walked and allowed their dog to relieve itself on my tree, I hollered at Drew, "SMILE!  I need you to smile.  You're not smiling!!!"

"Mom ..." he groaned, "I'm a football player.  We are mean.  I can't smile!"

"We aren't going anywhere until you smile.  I need you to smile!"

Rolling his eyes ... this is what I get:

Better half-assed than nothing, right?  I'll take it.

Now, because I'm the wonderful mother that I am ... I don't want my rough, tough, mean football player, Drew, to forget 3 things that were said before a football practice last week.

1.  Walking in on Jake and Drew fighting over the remote control I have to yell, "Come on Jake, just let Drew watch the Care Bears movie before he has to leave for practice ... then you can watch whatever you want."

2.  The previous evening at practice Drew cut his leg really bad on a sharp piece of something on the bottom of the dummy his was tackling.  The wound would break open and bleed every time someone even looked at it cross-eyed, so I asked, "Do you want me to put a band-aid over that so that you don't bleed all over at practice?"  To which he responded with a quick, NO!"  After asking why, he informed me he didn't want the bandage because it "would hurt way too bad when we had to take it off".  Never mind the 4 inch gash in his leg ... a band-aid might pull some hair off when removed.  

3.  I asked Drew to just go outside and throw the ball around for a few minutes while I got things together for his practice.  He walked out the door only to return three minutes later.  "Drew?  Buddy ... please wait outside."  With a face as white as a ghost he responded, "No way!  I saw a bee out there!"

My rough, tough, mean ... sweet baby boy Drew ... the football player!

No Pictures, No Post!

I want to blog.  I really do.  There are things to share.  And my kiddos are actually cooperating and allowing me to write these down.  Type them into the computer so my friends inside the computer can roll their eyes and sigh as they think to themselves how dysfunctional our family is.

However, I can't.  I can't type those words describing our craziness into my lap top.  Why?  Because my mouse is broken.  Figuring out how to fix it has proved to be impossible for me.  So, I sit here on this dinosaur of a machine that can't display the letters on the screen nearly at the rate I'm pecking them ...

But that is not the reason I can't blog.  Obviously, I CAN blog ... because you are reading this ... however, I can't blog what I WANT to blog because the photos I want to use to accompany my words are on the laptop and I can't get the freakin' mouse to work. 

Get where I'm coming from now?  I mean, hello, I always use pictures to make my words more interesting ... or at least that's the strategy, and I will not tell the stories I have to tell ... without the pictures.

How do I fix my mouse?

It's a wireless one.  The little USB stick plugs into the computer and WA LA!  However, after changing the battery, reconnecting the mouse, rebooting the computer, throwing the mouse across the room at Big Daddy, drinking a couple beers, ignoring it all together figuring then it would pay attention to me, changing the battery again, rebooting the computer again ... and then getting a good night sleep ... I woke up and the stupid thing still won't respond.

What the heck? It's a mouse.  Not a man.

Any ideas?

I Feel Sorry For Her Husband

This morning my oldest daughter came bouncing in my bedroom (way too early, of course) to bombard me with the the trillions of birthday cards she had created for me over the last week and had hidden in her very secret, never to be talked about hiding place.

For a moment, seeing her excitement over what used to be described as my special day, but is just now known to me as September 14 ... that day I was born, made me think she changed her ways ... she was not turning this into an "all about her" moment, like usual.  And then she spoke.  In the most loving, sweet, kind voice...

"Mommy?  I'm so glad I could give you your birthday wish."

I looked at her wondering how she knew I was hoping I'd walk downstairs and discover that Big Daddy had installed wood floors throughout the entire main living area while I slept.  And then she continued ...

"Your wish came true.  You get to watch ME play soccer tonight."

And yes, ME was emphasized. 

Liar! Liar! Pants On Fire!

I really need your help.

Didn't you miss me posting?  ALWAYS ASKING FOR SOMETHING?  Well, miss me no more.  I'm back, for good this time.  I know, I know, I've said that before ... but this time I mean it.  I know, I know ... I've said THAT before too ... so I'm a liar.  Guess it's good we got that out of the way now before this relationship went any further.

So anyway, Big Daddy and I are having a slight disagreement.  We NEVER disagree.  Ever.  So we don't know how to solve this.

What?  I already told you I was a liar ... stop looking at me like that. 

One great thing about having a blog is that I can leave it all up to you.  YOU have to settle this for us.

You HAVE to.

Because I said so, that's why.

Last night at gymnastics, when Emily was gawking at herself in the mirror as she attempted to balance herself on the beam, I mentioned to a friend that I had a cute video of Molly when she was staring at herself in the view finder of the video camera.  I told this friend that I would go home and find the video and send it to her.

Another lie.  I never did.

But ... I did come home and FIND the video.  Along with several others saved on YouTube.  Which is the whole distraction and reason I never sent my friend the link to watch the video like I said I would.

Watching the video is what led Big Daddy and I to have the disagreement we are currently having.  I think one is really funny and he thinks another is funnier ... and he is soooo wrong. 

Here are the two that we are arguing about.  I'm not going to tell you which one each of us thinks is funniest ... so you can't side with me because you love me more.  Sorry.

Watch these and then leave me a comment on which one you like best ... and settle this for us once and for all.

OR

So ... tell us, tell us, tell us. 

And I promise, if Big Daddy's choice gets the majority of the comments, then  I'll let it go forever and never mention how wrong he is again.

Ahem.

Lie.

Saving It Until I Need It

I am so saving this idea for someday when my boys really tick me off ... but I should wait just a few years ... because having them CARE that the "Girls Are Watching" would be helpful.  Otherwise, I'd just be making an ass out of myself.  Again.

One Proud Mama

The following conversation took place between my darling daughters last night at dinner.  Their hamburgers and hot dogs were being served to them outdoors and they were checking out what was going on in the neighborhood as they ate:

Molly:  I can't believe Grant & Lezlie (our neighbors) don't have any kids.

Emily:  That's okay.  I bet they will.

Molly:  I can't believe Derek (a neighbor) doesn't have any kids.

Emily:  MOLLY!  He's only 16 years old!!!!!! (actually he is 15, but that's not the point).

Molly:  Yeah, well ... when I'm 16 I'm going to have kids.

Emily:  Yeah well ... I just farted.

Ya know, the values we're instilling in these kids are just going to carry them so far in life, aren't they?

It's Like Riding A Bike ... You Just Never Forget!

Last night a big ol' annual event in our lives took place.  It was huge.  It was crazy.

It was School Open House.

Now, I realize many of you are chuckling as to how I could think this was some enormous affair ... however, I bet those who are laughing don't have four kids ... all lugging their school supplies in at the same time, all bolting ten feet in front of you ... going in different directions.  Am I right?  Come on, tell me ... I'm right.  Right?

We determined the girls were the most excited about meeting their teacher and seeing their classrooms, so they would be first.  As we entered the school, the same school we've entered for the past 6 years I might add, the following remark is made, "Where are the kindergarten rooms?" 

Yeah, us adults are a little slow sometimes ... obviously not the sharpest crayon in the box, but pretend you didn't notice, okay?

Jake, the only one no longer attending this elementary school looked at Big Daddy and I like we were not just idiots, but COMPLETE idiots and cooly muttered, "Don't worry.  Just follow me.  I know this school like the back of my ear!"

Which led me to ponder ... How well does one actually know the back of their ear?

So, who's coming off as the numbskull now?

I'm just sayin'.

** It's a joke Jake, chill out ... we all know you're a smart kid.

It's Always On Me

Get up.

Seriously ... get off the floor!!

I know you fell out of your chair seeing An Iowa Mom highlighted in your feed reader, but it's time to pull yourself together and come to grips with the fact that I am back. 

For real this time.

I'm not just saying I'm back, and then disappearing again for months.

The kids go back to school this week and we are in "school" mode.  As far as our house is concerned, summer break is over.  O-V-E-R.  Which means I have to get my ass in gear too and start getting back to the normal routine.  Which of course involves blogging.  And reading blogs too.  I feel like I've missed out of so many of your summers ... because I was too busy enjoying my own.

I'm so selfish.  Aren't I?

Anyway ... enough of that talk.  I'm just gonna jump right in.  Right into what happening with us right now.

And that is FOOTBALL.

Yup.  Drew is going to play tackle football this year.  Nervous isn't actually the word I would use to describe his thoughts on participating in this sport.  Petrified is more like it.  Yet, he wants to do it. 

Here is how it all went down ... the short version ... because I wouldn't want to overwhelm you all on my first day back.

ME:  Drew, I just got a call saying it's not too late for you to sign up for football.

DREW:  No way.  I'm not doing it.

ME:  Why?  I thought you've always wanted to play football.

DREW:  I did.  But, I don't want to get hurt.

ME:  You won't.

DREW:  When I play in the backyard and get tackled, it hurts.

ME:  When you get tackled by who?

DREW:  Derek.

ME:  He's 15.  You're 8.  That might have something to do with it.  Plus, in the back yard you aren't wearing pads.

DREW:  I'm not playing.

ME:  Fine.  All I ask is that you think about it.  You've always said you wanted to play.  This is your chance.  If you don't want to.  You don't have to.  But, at least think about it.

And I left the room.  About 20 minutes later, Drew emerged from his room and slammed a piece of paper down on the counter if front of me and walked away.  

Only My Daughter

The day before yesterday, Molly and I were snuggled up in a chair just talking.  You know, because conversations between a four year old and her mother are so facinating, right?   Don't forget educational.  Always an opportunity for learning.

Well, this little bit of chit chat was no exception.

Molly (patting my chest):  What are these?  Are these called BOOBS or BUBS?

Before I even had an opportunity to answer she continued ...

Molly: I really hope they are called BUBS ... because I want them to rhyme with CUBS.   Ya know, cause we love the Cubs.  And, I love these BUBS.

I know, you don't have to say it.  I should win the "Parenting of Summer Award ... after all, it's obvious I am working on my preschooler's rhyming skills on a regular basis.  And, she's getting quite good at it if I do say so myself.

Shawn Colvin Winners

The winners of the Shawn Colvin LIVE CD are:

• Lori A.
• Minyo
• Stacie

You have all three been notified by email as well.  Please respond back to that email with your mailing information.  If you do not respond by the end of the day, Friday, July 24 ... you will forfeit your prize and a new winner will be chosen.

Congratulations!

Missing Out

Okay.  Here is the deal.  I miss blogging.  I do.  A lot, actually.  Surely the majority of you out there are simultaneously rolling your eyes and mumbling, "Then blog already, you dim wit!" 

Am I right?  Of course I am.  I'm always right.  Remember?

However, whenever I sit down to share a story of our lives with you, I try to put a somewhat humorous spin on it.  I'm fully aware there are times this goal is not met, as I do realize there are times that I am the only one who thinks I'm funny.  I still try to put a smile on your face as you read about my experiences being a mother to these four kids running around my house ...screaming ... continually claiming that they do indeed belong to me.

So here it is.  Plain and simple ... life here isn't funny right now.  Nothing amusing about it.

That happens.  And that's all I'm going to say about it.

When it got to be that way, I stopped blogging.

And now I realize that I'm not recording all the great things that are taking place this summer, because I can't find words to relay those adventures in an entertaining way.  Then, I came to a conclusion.  That's right, I made a decision ... all by myself.  Wanna know what I came up with?

I am going to blog those occurrences anyway.

I am back.  Officially.

Funny or not.

Win A Shawn Colvin CD

It wasn't too long ago that I was asked to review the Shawn Colvin LIVE CD. I am embarrassed to admit that I had never even heard of Shawn Colvin. Really.

I'm a country music lover and and haven't heard of her? What the heck? Then I realize that she will be performing with Buddy Miller, Emmylou Harris & Patty Griffin this summer.. And I feel even more stupid. DUH!

Anyway ... the CD arrived in my mailbox and I immediately placed it in the CD player, curiously wondering who this Shawn Colvin was. Hello? I can't believe I hadn't heard of her before. I absolutely love the CD and it has a permanent spot in my CD changer.

I am not kidding. And I'm not being paid to say so ...

Her music is of the folk genre. It is so calm and soothing. This disk, which features songs from the past 20 years of her career, is going to be an absolute favorite of mine when it comes to sitting outside with a nice glass of wine to relax and wind down after a hectic day. And in the winter months, perfect for some background music during those warm bubble baths.

I fully recommend everyone check it out. I'm pretty confident you'll thank me for it. For more information, to listen to three songs on the CD and a chance to win an autographed guitar, visit her site.

Be sure to come back here and leave a comment though ... because I have been given three copies of the CD to give away to you! All you have to do is leave a comment to enter. An additional entry will be awarded to those of you who take the time to listen to the three songs she shares on her site, and if you state which song you like best in your comment ... it will count as two.

I will choose the winners on July 22.

What's A Mother To Do?

Many would probably disagree with me, but I feel like I've been a mother for a LONG time.  Mind you, I've only spent 11 of my years as a parent, but man ... some days, it feels more like 111 years. 

I'm just sayin'. 

So with that, ya know, 111 years of parenting I've got under my belt I have an itsy bitsy problem.  As I sit here at 9:00 on this beautiful, sunny, breezy yet warm Monday morning ... I find myself in a bit of a pickle ...

Last night, or I should probably say ... this morning seeing that it was actually 1:30 AM ... I wake to the sounds of voices.  More like screams.  Angry screams.  It was my boys ... yelling at each other.  I get up and follow the sounds which lead me to the basement.  It was here that I find my 11 year old and 8 year old side by side on the sofa with Wii controllers in their hands.  Fighting over what was fair and what was not in the game they were playing.

Did you catching the 1:30 AM thing I wrote it the previous paragraph?

Yeah.

To say that I was angry is an understatement, but I was too tired to do anything about it except shock the hell out of them by standing there, gritting my teeth and uttering, "Get your butts upstairs RIGHT NOW!"  I don't think they were expecting me to crash their party ... so that part was pretty funny ... to me anyway.

So, here is the deal.  It's 9:00 now ... and they are both still sound asleep. 

  

Should I let them sleep?  Because I'm sure they're still tired.

Or wake their asses up?  Because they should have been asleep long before 1:30 AM?

What do you think?

My Life In Pictures ...

So yesterday morning, I woke up (or should I say I was woken up) ... and there was no straight up pop in the house.  Plenty of that diet crap, but none of the good stuff.  Big Daddy, thinking he was funny, wouldn't agree to grab me one from Casey's before he left for work. 

Now many of you have been reading me long enough to know that when Big Daddy refuses to do something for me that I want him to ... he must pay.  The man must be punished.  That's just the way it is.  A simple fact of life.

It was decided upon that this would be the perfect thing:

Once Big Daddy caught a glimpse of his sweet girls with these tattoos ... he'd never deny me a pop again?  Right? 

Wrong.

He barely noticed they were there.

And then, just to get these photos, I had to endure pouty kids wanting a picture done BY THEMSELVES.  As in 'individual'.  Because, ya know, having them pose together in just one photo is torture and down right inhuman on my part.  What was I thinking?

And then, while photos were being taken ... one little girl spied her little sister trying to swipe her favorite watering can.

Obviously we couldn't have any of that nonsense, so she swiftly stole it back.

I'm happy to report that at least ONE of us was then content with life.

Seriously, I should have just gotten in my car ... all by myself ... enjoyed the 3 minutes of silence ... and gotten my own damn pop.

It would have been a hell of a lot easier.

Ya wanna know what else is really easy?  Voting for me.  Please do.  I'm losing BIG TIME now and there are only 12 days left to vote.  It only takes 15 seconds ... if that! Thanks!

It's Not You ... It's Me.

Oh man.  I have really been in a funk lately, huh?  I know that one of my pet peeves is when bloggers that I read, constantly pull the famous line of, "Oh, I know I haven't blogged in a while!"  Now, I understand that bloggers need to do this every once in a while ... because LIFE HAPPENS ... but when every single blog post starts with that ... it's down right annoying.  So annoying, that I usually unsubscribe.

What?  You don't know that kind of blog I'm talking about?  Really.

Let me give you an example.

Uuummm, let's see .... Hhhhhmmmm ....

Oh yeah!

MINE.

Seems like every single stinkin' post starts with, "Sorry it's been so long since my last post!" ...

And like I said, I have no excuse other than I'm just in a little bit of a bloggy slump.

Hang in there with me.  I know things will turn around shortly.  Don't give up on me.  Don't click that unsubscribe button.  It would make me so sad.  And you don't want to make me cry, do you?

Do you???

I didn't think so.

I Just Knew She Would Pull This Off ...

Remember a couple of weeks ago, when I was asking you to go and vote for me in that one poll or contest or whatever the heck it is?  You lovely people commented that I was in the lead.  A huge lead.  And I told you that Jody, over at Iowa Geek, would surely pull something out of her hat and quietly take lead without anyone noticing she'd done so ... until it was too late? 

Remember that?

Well ... friends who live inside my computer ... someday you (and Big Daddy) will learn to listen to me.  Because I'm usually right.

Really.

Oh be quiet ... it's my blog, I can say whatever I want. 

Seriously though, I received an email from one of you informing me that Jody is winning now.  Beating me.  And we just can't have THAT now, can we?  It's NOT too late.

You don't have to register for anything.  Nothing to fill out.  It's really easy.  You just go to the voting page and click on An Iowa Mom and then on VOTE.  That's it.  10 seconds or less.  Will you do that for me?  Please?

What do I have to do?

Beg?

Thanks guys!  You rock!

http://gocitykids.parentsconnect.com/parents-picks/des-moines-ia-usa/best-des-moines-local-blog

One Word. Satisfaction.

Maybe it's just me, but I believe there is no better satisfaction for a mother, than this:

An overtired child, who insisted she was NOT tired ... taking a time out for something she had done ... more than likely because she was ... indeed ... exhausted!!

Ya know ... summertime will do that to a four year old.

If I Were A Hat, Where Would I Be?

I've been asking myself that question most of last night and all of this morning.  You see, it seems as though my responsible, sweet, caring eight year old son has misplaced his hat. 

His baseball cap. 

You know ... the one that is a part of his uniform. 

That he has to wear this evening. 

Because he has a game.

And he has no idea where it is.

He's looked.

I've looked.

So, I was thinking ... if I started thinking like a baseball cap ... I'd walk right to it.

As it turns out, I'm obviously not a very good hat thinker, because the freakin' thing is still missing.

The house is clean.  Picked up.  Nothing is out where it shouldn't be. 

The little sucker is hiding.  Probably just to irritate me.  Like everyone else who lives here.

Since I can't seem to locate my son's hat.  And he can't seem to find it either ...

I'm wondering ... If YOU were a hat ... where would YOU be?

Like A Ghost

Last night the boys asked if they could sleep in the basement.  Scanning the calendar and verifying that we had nothing on the agenda for today, I determined that it would be okay.  Let me explain, we can't have ball games or any outings for the following day ... because when they sleep in the basement they usually stay up until all hours of the night playing video games or watching TV and are virtually useless the next day.

Responsible parenting?  Probably not.  But, I never claimed to be a responsible parent.

Anyway, Big Daddy was in a pretty good mood and went down to help them out.  Ya know, getting their blankets and pillows set out just right.  What I saw when he came upstairs is something I've never seen before.  He had turned white as a ghost.  With wide eyes and barely able to speak, he mumbled, "Have you seen the basement?"

Quite honestly, I probably hadn't been down there for two weeks ... but know that I send the kids down there to play daily.  Judging from Big Daddy's face, I knew that it couldn't be good.

I crept down, expecting the worst.

And it was worse than THAT.

"Appalling" is the only word to describe it.

So ... guess what we are doing today?

You got it.  I'm goin' in.

If you don't hear from me in 48 hours ... call 9-1-1.

Oops, She Did It Again!

Do you guys remember a while back when Molly did this? 

Well, she did it again. 

And I was wondering, is being a bratty, conceited, stuck up, bee-otch (sorry, can't bring myself to call my daughter that) not-so-nice girl, learned behavior or something that she could have just been born with?  I am praying it's the latter, because I am pretty confident that I'm NOT that way.  Really.

Here is what happened ...

Emily was outside riding the scooter that I told her she wasn't big enough to ride, but she rode it anyway, because no one ever listens to me.  Needless to say, she wipes out, hurts her leg and suddenly finds herself in the kitchen crying at my feet.  I am not at all embarrassed to say that "I TOLD YOU SO!" escaped from my lips more than once.  Ya know ... because I'm mature like that.

Then Molly enters the room and sees her sister crying.  Being the over dramatic little gal that she is, she falls to the floor to sit by her sister, "Oh Emily!  Did you get hurt?"

Emily nodded with her bottom lip protruding as far outward as humanly possible and tears still spilling from her eyes.

Molly reached out and rubbed Emily's cheek.  "Ooohhhh, did you hurt your face?"

"No." Emily replied.

Molly's nose crinkled and her mouth formed a small snarl, "Then why does your face look like that?"

Isn't she sweet?

Short, Simple and To The Point

I'm not a party person.  Well, let me rephrase that.  I AM a party person ... but only certain kinds of parties.  When a friend and neighbor asked me to host a Pampered Chef party I immediately declined.  I rarely go to these gatherings and have only hosted ONE in all my 30-some odd years.

However, just because I don't enjoy going, doesn't mean I don't like the products they offer.  Because a lot times I do.  This lead me to agree to an "online" party.  Because you all know I'm all about the ONLINE thing, right?  Obviously.

So here is the deal.  I'm hosting this Pampered Chef party ... an online version ... and it ends ... uuummm ... TOMORROW (Wednesday).  So since I know that everyone always needs something from Pampered Chef ... head on over and go shopping for the special something you need.  I mean, there is no time like the present, right?

Use this link so that it counts for my party, okay? 

AN IOWA MOM'S PAMPERED CHEF PARTY!

I have the following and can't live without them:

• Easy Read Measuring Cups
• Small Scoop
• Medium Scoop
• Large Scoop

And these cool gadgets were just brought to my attention from Rachel, and now I have to have them:

Mix 'n Chop
Mix 'n Mash







Have fun shopping around ....  AN IOWA MOM'S PAMPERED CHEF PARTY!  Remember, you will have to order by Wednesday, June 10.

Thanks guys!

I Always Knew She Was An Impressive Little Girl

I did.  Emily always seems to amaze me.  And this beautiful, sunny day ... also known as "day two" of summer vacation ... is no exception.

Really.

I had no idea that sitting in one particular chair at the kitchen table was so incredibly important.  Apparently it is.  I was enlightened and came to this conclusion because one simple stinkin' kitchen chair warranted a 30 minute meltdown.

No joke. 

Emily, my sometimes sweet five year old, cried and cried and cried because Molly was sitting in the chair that Emily seemingly thought was reserved just for her.  So, do you want to know what she did after she cried and cried and cried?  Of course you do.

She cried some more. 

And when I say "cry" ... I mean, "CRY!!!!".

Cry as in ... hope the neighbors don't think I'm beating her and call DHS on me. 

Silence has overtaken the house and subdivision once again, as I assume Emily has passed out from exhaustion after the impressive display she just entertained us with.  This is a good thing, as it has allowed me to think straight for three minutes to type up this post.  Otherwise, I'm sure the blog would not have gotten updated today.

Oh no!  Molly just appeared with Emily's slippers on.  I have a feeling this could get ugly ... I better go assume my safety position in my bedroom closet. 

What?

It's totally necessary for survival.

Pray For Me and My Family

If there was ever a time that I really needed you, it would be now.  If there was ever a time my children needed you, it would be now.

Today, my friends who live inside my computer, is the last day of school for my kiddos.

Lord help us.

Please pray we all survive this summer together.

And if you don't want to pray for me ... well then you can vote for me instead.

Thank you.

I knew I could count on you guys.

You Spoke. I Listened.

Big Daddy would say that a miracle has actually taken place.  I listened.  What he doesn't know is that I do actually listen to other people quite often.  Just not to him.  One day he'll understand.  Maybe.

Even though I couldn't get her to sit still enough to get a good picture, I still think she is pretty stinkin' darned cute, wouldn't you say?

  

And guess what?  I got my hair cut too.  Or trimmed I should say.  Though the cut is GREAT and I love it, I'm not nearly as cute as Molly so I'll spare you the photos.

Advice From A 90 Year Old Woman ...

This kind of stuff usually comes through on email ... but after reading it, I found it worthy of sharing. 

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Always Asking For Something ... Aren't I?

Yup.  That's me.  You show up here expecting to be entertained by my hideous and, most of the time, unbelievable life.  But, once the page opens, you close the annoying ads that pop up, and then realize that I'm always asking something of you.  Whether it be:

• TO VOTE FOR ME (remember you can do that once a day)
• OR TO TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO WITH MOLLY'S HAIR (it's going to be cut, appointment is on Monday)
• OR EVEN TO ENDURE THAT GOD AWFUL LAUGH OF MINE (that video does crack me up though, so worth watching again)

And today is no different.  I'm going to request something from you ... and it's all because I got a wild hair up my rear this morning and decided that everything I have going on in my life is just not enough, so I need to add a little more.  Really, Jake told me this morning that I'm not yelling as much lately.  That must mean I don't have enough on my plate to stress me out, become overwhelmed and take it all out on my family. 

So ... I decided to make teacher tote bags for all the teachers and give them on the last day of school.   That means I need to create eight bags ... in a week.  I found this adorable bag you see over there on your left and was ALL EXCITED, until I realized that the pattern won't be available until mid-June.  Yeah ... that doesn't work for me.

Now, I could spend an entire day looking through craft sites, but it would cause me to want to make 100 other things that I REALLY don't have time for.  Plus, I have to go grocery shopping.  I know, for some reason my family feels that I should shop and cook for them.  THE NERVE.

Anyway, that means that I need you, yes you, to leave me a comment and tell me your FAVORITE site offering free or inexpensive downloadable patterns. 

That shouldn't be a problem, right?  I mean, if you're sitting here reading my blog ... then surely you don't have anything better to do anyway.

It's A Good Thing I Have You All ...

because if I didn't, I swear I wouldn't know if I was comin' or goin'. 

Last week I received an email from a reader asking how I was feeling.  Not quite sure what she meant, I responded with the typical.  Then a couple of days later, another email, from another reader.  And then another.

We all know that I'm not always the sharpest knife in the drawer and so sometimes it takes me a while to catch on.  But I finally did.  A light bulb went off and I was all, "OH YEAH!  DUH!"  And then I got choked up a bit because it dawned on me that while I know my family and friends love me and care about me ... I am also fortunate enough to have you sweet people living inside my computer ... that wish me the best in life as well.

I have to say, I'm one lucky bitch.  Really.

And while I will admit a wave of embarrassment washed over me when I realized what the emails were referring to, my heart also warmed at the same time.

It was a year ago that I was struggling a bit with life.  And while I had forgotten all that was taking place just 12 months prior, you didn't.  The feeling that comes from knowing you all had remembered that is something I can't describe.  It's just short of pure awesomeness.

So, for all of you wondering ... and might be afraid to ask.   I'm doing great.  Feeling wonderful.  Enjoying life ... ya know, except for the kids, husband, household chores, running here and there, cooking meals, etc.

Just kidding.

Thank you guys so much for caring.

Did I mention I'm one lucky bitch?

Decisions! Decisions!

Yesterday when I dropped Molly off at one of her final days of preschool for the year, her teacher had Molly's "portfolio" out and asked that I take it home with me.  This notebook is filled with drawings that Molly has done over the past 10 months, along with other things they've collected throughout her year at school.  As I sat in my car flipping through it afterward, it FELT like the end of the school year.  UGH!

However, when opening the notebook, one thing in particular stood out to me.  It was a photo of Molly when she started school.  I know, wasn't I just right on top of reporting THAT milestone?  I'm trying people.  I'm trying.  Hopefully by the time she graduates from high school, I'll be posting the update immediate proceeding the ceremony.  I hear you laughing.  You don't fool me.  And obviously, I don't fool you either.  Oh well ... I'm glad we got that straight.

Anyway, I couldn't believe how short Molly's hair was.  I never really remember it being that short, yet I can recall the day she made the drastic change.  Immediately I began to contemplate whether it would be a good decision to make a repeat performance of last year and take the plunge with the scissors.  I even had the phone in hand to make the call to make the appointment.  Of course, I asked her what she thought, because her opinion is the most important ... <cough>bullshit</cough> ... but she was no help (surprise, surprise).  One second she says "YES!"  ... the very next breath is a "NO!".

Typical girl.

I can't say I'm much better.  The idea to chop it all off only seems like a good one ... half of the time.  So I could not allow my fingers to press the buttons on the phone committing us to the visit that would make the decision final.

And because I'm a loser that obviously can't follow through with any thought I have ... or don't have ... I'm turning to my old trusted friends who live inside my computer.

That's you!  Yes, I know I just called you old. 

What do you think?  Should we cut it off or leave it alone (with a trim, of course)?

MOLLY WITH SHORT HAIR:

     

MOLLY WITH LONGER HAIR:

   

VOTE NOW:

Nothing More Annoying

I just wanted to tell you all that I am FULLY AWARE of the annoying ads that keep popping up on my blog and also the ones that have audio.  You know ...you're happily reading along and all of sudden someone starts talking to you through your computer and scares the living hell out of ya.  All courtesy of An Iowa Mom.

Yup.  Know that they're there.  Sorry.

I have every intention to have that all fixed up before the end of the day. 

However ... as long as I'm being annoying and all ... I figure I might as well get the most bang for my buck ... so don't forget to take a second and go vote for me.

If you've already done it before, you know it's quick.  And I'll love you forever if you do it.  That in and of itself should be motivation enough, eh?

Take Four

Last weekend was a "split" weekend for us.  Jake had a tournament in Ankeny all weekend and Drew in North Liberty.  Before we needed to separate, Big Daddy wanted to get a picture of both boys together.

Someone.  Anyone.  Please tell me why there always has to be a child to make things difficult?  The simplest of things actually being simple is just plain nonexistent when it comes to kids.

Really.  How hard is it to just smile?

Apparently, it's pretty challenging. 

At least for one of my children it is.

Then and Now

This morning my oldest son was putting his lunch inside his backpack, getting ready to leave for the bus stop.  "OH YEAH!" he calls out.  "I need a picture of me from kindergarten!"

Not a problem I think to myself.  Might actually be fun to reminisce about the old days and when my boy was a sweet boy back in his first year of school.  Oh okay ... so you caught me.  He wasn't exactly a sweet boy back then.  But he is now.  Sometimes.

Anyway, I continued doing what I was doing ... probably looking at facebook or something similar ... and calmly asked, "Okay.  When do you need it?"

There could only be one response to this question coming from an eleven year old boy.  "Today." he said flatly.

"TODAY?  TODAY?  You have to leave for the bus in like 3 minutes.  What the heck, Jake?"  I screamed jumping out of my chair and heading to my drawer where I keep my picture disks.

Normally I'm always jumping all over myself because things are not organized exactly how I would like them around here ... but today I decided to let up on myself a little.  I am more together than what I give myself credit for. 

Yeah.  I'm bragging on myself.  Why?  I rarely get the chance to. 

That, and because in 3 minutes time I was able to find his kindergarten school photo, print it, and have it tucked safely away in his backpack with time to spare as the bus rolled up to retrieve him.  I pulled it off.

And ... I even allowed myself 20 seconds of that time to reflect back to those days when that first school photo was taken.  The days when cuddling with Mom reading a book was way more fun than running off to a friends house.  The days when he was small enough to place him in time out ... and be able to force him to stay there.  The days when all the magical things of childhood were believed and treasured, rather than him being the one enjoying the twinkle in his sister's eyes when these things happen.  I was able to think back to all these things.

Ya know, before I had to start screaming at the girls that "WE WERE LATE!" and needed to get their hair brushed and their bottoms in the car like ... NOW!

Then ...

 

And Now ...

  

Perfect Timing

Yesterday morning Big Daddy entered Emily's room to wake her and Molly for the day.  A sleepy little girl barely opened her eyes and groaned ... "Is it time to get up?"

Big Daddy affirmed that it was indeed time to rise and shine.  Now please, keep in mind that my other three kids (along with many kids around the globe, I feel safe in saying) would respond to that with pulling their pillow over their heads and begging for just five more minutes of shut eye. 

Not Emily.  Her response to Big Daddy was, "OH GOOD.  Because I have to pee really bad!"

Sometimes ya just gotta love her.

I'm Getting Ahead Of Myself. Either That Or I'm A Slacker.

Okay ... so I was getting ready to tell you all about today and the boys ball tournaments.  But then I realized that I never told you about LAST weekend when Jake had a tournament. 

Maybe subconsciously I KNOW that you don't give a crap.  Or maybe I'm just a huge slacker that would rather watch my kids play in the pool.  Or even have you click here to vote for me, because I realized that you can vote ONCE A DAY!!!  Oh I know ... I'm really going to be irritating you now, huh?

Anyway.  This is as short and sweet as it gets and then I don't feel nearly as guilty for not recording Jake's tournament right after it happened.  Because we won it.  Won it all.  As if FIRST PLACE.

Those boys rock.

Here is Jake getting his trophy!  And yes, that is Molly right beside him.  She is ALWAYS right beside him.  And surprisingly, he doesn't care.  Not one bit. 

I know ... all together now ... AAAWWWW!

Now ... just in case you got caught up in all the sweetness ... don't forget to GO VOTE FOR ME!  It's takes like 10 seconds.  Come on!   Thanks!

All Good Things Are Worth Waiting For

Guess what we're doing?

Well ... maybe I should say, "Guess what THEY'RE doing?" ... because I'm not doing it. 

I'm in here, telling you all ... what THEY'RE doing. 

But, I guess you can figure that out by looking at the picture:

And let me tell ya ... THEY are having a blast!

Don't tell anyone ... but I'm probably having just a good of a time watching them have fun!

Really.

WOW - I'm Honored!

I don't know how it happened or who it was that made it happen ... but I was nominated for an award.  And by "nominated" I mean that I don't win ... unless people vote for me.  I could vote for myself, but that would only be one vote ... and I don't think that will cut it. 

I'm just sayin' 

One vote ain't bringin' the victory home to Big Mama.  Okay ... forget I said that.  Please erase it from your mind.  The title "Big Daddy" works for Big Daddy ... but Big Mama isn't working for me. 

Anyway ... I guess what I am trying to say is that I need you. YOU!  Now more than ever.  I need you to take 10 seconds out of your precious blog reading time (and believe, I do realize how special that time is) to click on the following link and vote for me.

Just a heads up ... there is no registration.  No hoops to jump through.  No commitments to make.  Just click and vote.  That's it.

I know you can do it.  I have faith.

VOTE FOR ME! ---- AN IOWA MOM

There Is A Reputation To Uphold When Carrying The Label Of White Trash

Remember when I said that the pool was open and all we needed to do is heat the sucker up?  Well, one of the steps we took to trying to accomplish that little task was to place a solar cover on it.  And I must say, that big ol' piece of bubble wrap works wonders when it comes to locking in some sunlight and warming the water.  At the rate we're going ... we should be swimming by  ... oh ... I don't know ... August.

Anyway, the cover is on the pool. 

And the wind blows ... EVERY SINGLE STINKIN' DAY it seems ... which causes the cover to move out of place. 

So, being the creative engineer-like beings that we are ... we came up with this solution to hold the cover in tact:

Okay ... I'm sorry Big Daddy ... there I go trying to steal all your glory again.  You really do deserve full credit for this doozy of an idea.  Really, who would have thought that little iron table would be better fit to hold the solar cover in place rather than hold my can of Miller High Life Light?  I mean, after giving it a little thought, it makes perfect sense ... seeing how I rarely set my drink down anyway.

Well ... last Friday there was a little fight between the wind and the solar cover.  The iron table didn't want to get involved, but was drug into it anyway ... literally.  Lucky for you, I was able to grab my camera and catch Big Daddy trying to rectify the situation ... always sticking up for the "under" dog.  HA HA HA - I crack myself up.

Keep in mind that the pool had just been filled, the water was freezing, the air temperature was about 50 degrees, it was raining and the wind was whipping about 35 mph.  However, before looking at this video ... please know that I didn't want to show it to you for one reason ... and I almost didn't.  It has nothing to do with the fact Big Daddy is dressed in all red and acting as though he'd lost his mind, though all that is true. 

You're welcome in advance for the smile I've allowed Big Daddy to bring to your face today ... at the expense of sharing that hideous and God awful laugh of mine.

 

Wasn't that funny?

Him jumping in the pool ... not my laugh.

Another Red Flag

I'm just sharing this with you because I'm always kind.  Always thoughtful.  Always ready to help.  So, I just wanted to give you a heads up ...

You've spent way too many hours at the ball park if the following happens to you:

I walk downstairs from folding laundry, because you know, I'm ALWAYS FOLDING LAUNDRY, and the refrigerator door was wide open, little alarm beepy annoying notifier thing-a-ma-jig ... doing it's job to the fullest, and Molly was just sitting at the table ... scribbling in her new coloring book.

"Ummmm, Molly ... the fridge is open!!!" I holler, picking up my pace and making my way towards it.

"Good Eye. Good Eye." she responded causally, not even bothering to take her own eyes away from her self-described masterpiece.

I admit it.  I laughed.

Surprisingly, I am fully capable of doing that once it a while.  But don't tell anyone.

I'm Gradually Catching On To This Parenting Thing!

It never fails.  My children will go HOURS without even looking in my direction, let alone actually stooping so low as to actually speak to me.

That is until a phone call come in.  Wait.  I should rephrase that ... until a phone call comes in FOR ME. 

When that happens, all hell breaks loose here in our house.  One kid is screaming at another for no particular reason.  This gives a third child a chance to sneak into the pantry and lift an "off limit food item".  Let's not forget the last child standing beside me chanting, "Mom.  Mom.  Mom.  Mom.  Mom.  Mom ..."  until I finally snap and try to scare them with my "crazy lady" look.  My glares, scowls, and finger pointing has effect on no one though.  So, I eventually have to excuse myself from the conversation, place a hand over the receiver and threaten each and everyone of them, through gritted teeth, with their stinkin' life 3 o'clock snack and screen time.

Returning back to the phone conversation, still barely able to hear from the chaos happening around me ... ya know, because my threats are always taken so seriously ... I notice it's quiet on the other end of the telephone.  As a matter of fact, it's ALWAYS noiseless on the other end of my phone conversations.  Feeling somewhat inadequate next to my friends obvious fantastic parenting skills, I could never bring myself to ask for their technique in keeping children so silent while they conversed with another person ...

... and until now it has always remained a huge mystery to me.

I may be a bit slow ... but I'm gradually catching on to this parenting thing.

Forever Embedded

Is it sad that every single year when May 17 rolls around ... the very first thing I think of when hearing the date is ... Jordan Knight's Birthday? 

Ya know, the Jordan Knight from New Kids On The Block.

I know ... someone help me, please!  But it is.  Someone says, MAY 17 ... and my brain goes ... JORDAN'S BIRTHDAY ...

Okay, I will completely understand if you feel the need to unsubscribe from my blog now. 

If I'm Miserable, You Have To Be Miserable With Me! It's a Rule.

Okay ... so our baseball fields could have doubled for The Great Lakes on Thursday night at Drew's baseball game.  One kid made contact with the ball and sent a rocket out to right field.  When the ball dropped, you could see the splash from the sidelines as it fell into the water.  The fielder ran to it, stopped, and had to balance himself as he leaned over the pool of water in order to retrieve the ball.

Not kidding.

At that point, the ump had to take the ball out of play since it was a bit water logged. 

Why am I telling you this, you ask?  This useless piece of information that has absolutely no meaning to you or your live whatsoever.  Well ... I'm just trying to give you an idea of how all the rain we've received here where I live ... can make your life miserable as well.

How is that?

Because it rained all day yesterday, and when I say all day ... I mean, ALL FREAKIN' DAY.  Keep in mind, yesterday was the day AFTER the day I just described above .  And today ... we have ball games ... on those fields.

A double header is scheduled to be exact.

Can you imagine?  What was once The Great Lakes ... now has to be the Atlantic Ocean.  It has to be.

Anyway, because I'm so not thrilled about going out into the cold, very windy, muddy, wet ball fields, I'm gonna take a step back in time.  I think I'll step back to last weekend, when the weather was sunny and nice.  And that is what I'll blog about today.  Sorry.  That's just the way it is.

I just want all of you to pretend that you care about my 8 year old's first tournament.  Because I'm gonna tell you about it, whether you like it or not ...

Alright ... I could actually hear that groan you just let out.  It didn't bother me, but the rolling of your eyes ... yeah, that hurt.  But I got the point.  I won't tell you all about the tournament.  I'll show you.  It's much faster and less painful for you that way.

Drew got to pitch a couple innings.  Here he is:

I think Drew's favorite part of baseball tournaments is the break they receive between games, allowing the boys to make a trip to the concession stands. Let me put this in perspective for you. Drew LOVES to play baseball ... so you can imagine just how much enjoyment he gets from the concession stand. I'm just sayin'.

Anyway, the team makes it to the game where they are playing for a trophy.  That's a big deal for a parent an eight year old. 

Here's the part where I've got good news and bad news:

The Bad News: They lost.  By one run.  In extra innings.  And didn't get the trophy.
The Good News:  They were awarded a medal.

Well, I thought it was good news.  Drew didn't seem to think so. Here is Big Daddy trying to explain to him that winning isn't everything ... (I think he had his fingers crossed behind Drew's back).

His fake smile looks pretty authentic, doesn't it?  The kid has got some talent.  Look!

So ... there ya go.  I got a little sunny and fun baseball in today after all. 
It wasn't too excruciating, was it?

Ever Wondered How You're Viewed By Children?

I never really thought about how my children ... or any other kid, for that matter ... viewed me.  Come to think of it, I guess I have not ever sat and pondered how anyone has.  Child or not.

Well the wonderful teachers at our schools use Mother's Day as a time to punish us for sending our rotten kids to them day after day after day after day.  These souls who teach our children to read and write, not to mention how to listen and display some sort of manners ... yeah, those people want us to know that our kids don't really know us ... at all.

Here is how Jake answers questions about me:

 

And from Drew ...

Wow ... I've never been called a "STUD" before!  I'm flattered.

More from Drew ...



WTF?


And Molly got in on this action too ..




And what do I take away from all this?

I obviously spend way too much time on the computer and should never attempt to sing again.  Ever.

So, this brings me to you all.  I'm opening up the comments for you all to ask me anything.  Anything at all ... and I'll answer your questions in upcoming blog posts. 

I guess we'll just call it ... "Get To Know Me!"

I know ... strictly by opening myself up to do this, you learn something.  I'm Crazy!  But you all already knew that, didn't you?

I figure somebody might as well get to know me, my children obviously don't.

Why A Mother Might Drink ... Daily!

While I appreciate your emails, some kind ... some not so much ... inquiring where the hell I've been and why I have been a slacker blogger lately ... let me take a moment to give you an example of the crap that goes on here that needlessly keeps me from my computer ... therefore from filling your An Iowa Mom fix.

Today, I'm sitting in my chair and happily beading some socks for an order that needed to be filled.  Molly asked for her Barbie movie (which I had no desire to watch AGAIN), so I decided it would be a great opportunity to catch up on some missed episodes of "The Hills". 

Shut up.

Feeling like I'm really productive and busting out things that needed to be done, I think there may have even been a smile on my face.  No, really!  There might have been.

Then, I look down and see my darling daughter entertaining herself.

With the bead boxes that I had just organized THIS MORNING.

No.  I'm not kidding.  Take a freakin' peek for yourself.

Yeah ... my organizers are almost empty.  I guess she thought they would all be better suited for the big tub.  ALL MIXED TOGETHER.  It's much prettier that way ya know.

Oh wait ... it gets better.

As my blood pressure was rising, I frantically tried to think back to that one parenting book I read ... TEN YEARS AGO ... to guide me on what I should do.  I mean, she is really looking forward to preschool next year, so I didn't want to kill her just yet.

Remembering that 'taking a break, walking away from the situation and counting to ... I don't know ... A THOUSAND ... would be be helpful and would allow me to calm down', I decided to try it.  And guess what?

It worked.  I felt much better when I returned.

To this ...

 

Please notice that now even my organizer ... is NOT even close to organized.  At all.

I said (okay, maybe yelled), "MOLLY! ... Clean up all the beads on the floor ... NOW!  Then get AWAY from my beads"

She huffed and replied, "AAARRRGHHH, Why do I have to do EVERYTHING?!?!"

Screw the counting ... It's 5 o'clock somewhere!

Getting So Close I Can Taste It

Well ... maybe not TASTE it. 

I guess I technically could, but I personally don't particularly care for the taste of chlorine.  Especially in high doses.

 

Now all I need is the freakin' sun to come out and heat this sucker up.

Lucky Butt

You know those gold coins?  The ones that are worth a dollar?

Jake loves them.  As a matter of fact, he finds them to be extremely lucky.  With this being his belief, he tucks one away in his right cleat before he slides his foot into it when getting ready for a baseball game.  Last Thursday evening, the ritual continued.  Or so we thought.

In the car on the way home from this particular game, Jake took a shoe off and realized his lucky coin was gone.

GONE!

He royally freaked out wondering how in the world that could have happened.  The intense reaction that Jake displayed caused Big Daddy and I to panic ... thinking something really bad happened back there in the 3rd row of the Suburban.

After realizing that he was overreacting ... over a COIN ... we became a little frustrated.  It's not nice to scare old people ... Jake could have caused one of us to have a heart attack.  Ya know?

Anyway, we finally arrived home and upon entering the house Jake noticed his lucky gold coin sitting neatly on the shoe rack.  It seems as though it didn't fall out of his shoe after all.  Jake just forgot to tuck it into his cleat before he left for the game.

Relief swept over him and he ran downstairs to take a shower.  Coin in hand.  Once his body was scrubbed and it was time to lather shampoo into his hair, he realized he was still holding the beloved lucky coin that he had retrieved from the shoe rack.  Unable to hold it AND shampoo his hair, he placed the dollar into his mouth. 

He knew that isn't something one should do.  But he did it anyway.

And he managed to swallow it.

Needless to say ... my new nickname for my oldest son is now ... 

"LUCKY BUTT".

Rather fitting ... don't 'cha think?

I Didn't Know He Cared

This afternoon I opened my email and found this one line email from Big Daddy:

You haven’t blogged since last Friday……what’s with that?????

Ya know, I didn't think he really cared ... or frankly would ever notice.  This blog isn't something that I thought he paid any attention to.  Guess I thought wrong. 

Maybe he's paying TOO close of attention to the blog ... and not enough attention to our life.  Because if he was ... he'd know why I haven't blogged since Friday. 

So ... I guess I have to give Big Daddy a little refresher ...

We have baseball ... with both boys now:

  

A little girl who turned four:

An overwhelming desire to organize:

         

An 8 year old who can't seem to shake this fever that keeps returning every few days:

and the bad luck of his favorite toy breaking:

Which caused an entire afternoon dedicated to figuring out how to get it fixed:

Not to mention a well doctor visit for our newly turned four year old, which caused a reaction to one of her four immunizations.  This made for a very cranky, clingy and tired little girl.  Remember that?:

Once a moment was found to blog and fill everyone in on this live of ours, it didn't surprise me that this quit working ... that's just my luck.  Come on Big Daddy, you couldn't have forgotten the phone call I placed to you blaming you for the whole thing.  I mean, you DID use the computer last:

And when a kid actually asks to sit down and write a letter to his favorite friend who moved away, all attention should turn to that, don't you agree?

So ... while I have every intention on writing about these things that have all happened since Friday ... WHEN I LAST BLOGGED ... I just haven't really had a moment to sit down to do that yet.  However, if you're offering to take over all the household duties so that I can have an evening to myself to write, Big Daddy ... I'd surely take you up on that.

Whadda ya say?

One Of THOSE Days!

Yeah ... I have to tell you ... it's gonna be one of THOSE days today!  A 24 hour period of time that I have to constrain myself from the computer and my beloved friends who live inside of it.  Why?  Well it's simple to explain.  For the simple fact that today is one of those days that I actually have to act like a mother.

It's Molly's birthday.  She's four today.  And I feel it necessary to spend the day with her, not you ... I do hope you'll understand and forgive me.

So now I must close this laptop and do my best to not be pulled back to it.  I mean, there are important things going on here.  There is cake to be devoured.  A Thumballina movie to be viewed.  A new bell for a bike to be rung. 

Not to worry ... I will fill you in on all the details when I return.

Until then ... do your best not to miss me.

As Molly would say, "Toodles!"